I’ve been thinking a lot about grace lately. Not just the grace that God showers upon us but the grace we extend to ourselves. It’s a concept that often feels elusive, especially when I’m in a chronic illness flare-up. These flares can be tempestuous, leaving me feeling battered and bruised, both physically and emotionally. In those moments, it’s tough to be kind to myself, let alone show myself grace.
Recently, as I navigated another flare, I was overwhelmed by a wave of love and support. Your comments, messages, and prayers poured in, reminding me of the incredible power of human connection. Your words are like a gentle breeze, soothing my weary soul and reminding me that I am not alone.
As I’ve reflected on your messages, I’ve realized that your kindness has helped me to see myself in a new light. It’s as if your love has shined a spotlight on the parts of me that I often overlook or dismiss. It’s helped me pause, take a deep breath, rest, and reset.
I’m not entirely sure what this reset looks like yet, but I know that it needs to be intentional. It’s about letting go of the expectations I place on myself and embracing the grace that God offers me. It’s about recognizing that my worth is not tied to my productivity or accomplishments but to my inherent value as a child of God.
One of the biggest challenges I face during flare-ups is my own pressure, thinking I have to be productive. I feel like I should be writing, blogging, or working on my next book or something else. But the truth is, sometimes I need to rest. And that’s okay.
Proverbs 3:5- 6 is a verse that I often turn to during these times. It reminds me to trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding. My own understanding, especially when I’m in pain and feeling overwhelmed, stinks.
As I’ve been pondering this verse, I’ve realized that my expectations about what I should be doing are often at odds with God’s expectations for me. My expectations can be distorted by productivity, fear, and being a recovering people pleaser. But God’s expectations are rooted in love, grace, and compassion.
So, as I continue to navigate the cycle of flare-ups, I’m making a conscious effort to let go of my own expectations and embrace God’s grace. I’m taking time to rest, to read, to color, do word searches and to watch old TV shows. I’m finding joy in the simple things and allowing myself to be loved and cared for by you, me, and Jesus.
I’m also learning to be kinder to myself. To recognize when I’m pushing myself and to give myself permission to rest. I’m reminding myself that I’m not a machine. I’m a human being, and I need to take care of myself.
This journey of self-compassion is not easy. There will be days when I feel discouraged and overwhelmed. But I know that with God’s help, I can overcome these challenges. I can find grace in the storm and emerge more robust and resilient.
As I conclude this post, I want to express my gratitude to all of you who have shown me such love and support. Your kindness has been a beacon of light in the darkness. It has reminded me that I am not alone and that there is hope.
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I pray that you will feel much better soon. I surely understand chronic illness and all that accompanies it. It wreaks so much havoc with us physically, emotionally, and yes, even spiritually. May the Lord’s presence be very near you during this difficult time.
Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words Cheryl.
Dear Paula, I can get down on myself for not accomplishing what I set out to do in a day. Self-compassion and grace to accept I have limitations. You wrote: “I’m also learning to be kinder to myself. To recognize when I’m pushing myself and to give myself permission to rest. I’m reminding myself that I’m not a machine. I’m a human being, and I need to take care of myself.” is just what I need to remember today!!! Nancy Andres @ Colors 4 Health
Nancy, I’m so happy you are encouraged by my words. It’s hard to give ourselves grace sometimes isn’t it?
Aw, what a great reminder to be kinder to ourselves!
I love how you approached this topic—great job!
Paula, I am so sorry for your recent battles with chronic health. You are such an encouragement to all of us with your grace and strength. May the Lord continue to keep His hand on you, showing you when and how best to take periods of rest.